Twitter Brand Social Media, Now Available in New Delicious Persistent Vegetative State Formula

Josh Clark

So I'm definitely not the tech writer around here, which is why I'll write about the sociological implications of Twitter rather than any technology behind it. That and I'm afraid of Chris Pollette and Jonathan Strickland following me into the bathroom and locking the door behind them. For being so pasty, those two know how to wield bicycle chains and car radio antennae with surprising effectiveness.

I do not, in fact, have a Twitter account. I'll probably be a member of the 26th wave (coming up two from now), but I am fascinated by the ideal Web 2.0 model our society's faithfully followed, as established by MySpace and perfected by Facebook, wherein a clever new social media technology is unrolled, early adopters figure out even cleverer novel uses for it, these new uses are picked up by the aged media, which disseminates news of the tech to everybody else who, in turn, take up use of the service, which leads to more media exposure, even further use and the final stage, complete and utter entrenchment in said society.

Facebook's already there, having gone from its milestone of 100 million users last August to 200 million users just eight months later. Twitter's not quite at that point of entrenchment, but it's well on its way. Case in point: The tech is becoming the subject of study for researchers looking for quick ways to spend their funding. University of Wisconsin biomedical researchers are using Twitter to send messages using electrical impulses in the brain to spell words so people suffering from a locked-in altered state of consciousness can Tweet too.

That's sad. People who can only move their eyeballs are Tweeting and I've still not caught on. Thanks to people smarter than me, though, I've learned Cobra Commander has a Twitter account. My favorite: "What's the OTHER half of the battle, you self-righteous little do-gooders? Naivete? Childish devotion to failed ideals?"

Yeah it's old, but it's still hilarious:

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