"Children's immortality"; "transhumanism"; "Bernard Madoff"

Josh Clark

Eeaaarrrrrly this morning, I perused search terms in Google to see what was going down this March 24. I found that the most searched term was "children's immortality." At about 11 p.m. last night the term shot up like a rocket; Google indicated its status as "Hotness: On Fire." It's a fairly curiosity-piquing combination of words and I clicked on one of the links. It was bizarre indeed what I found.

Taking-over-internet-search.com would likely be around 100 pages of printed paper if it weren't in the form of one long, rambling scroll of a page with the same virtually incoherent layout of a Church of the Subgenius publication. At the top of the page, where "Hello, World!" would have once been, was an indictment against Google, implying the company actively thwarts Children's Interneted Physical Immortality Education Rights by manipulating search results. Probably. It's bitterly ironic: Even those who indict Google can't avoid having visitors funneled to them by it.

I noticed faint sounds coming from my earbuds and put them on, fully expecting to hear a person addressing me directly, after having spent a few minutes browsing the page. It was a song embedded in the site. It was way too early for this. I began to feel the effects of sleep deprivation.

I found another article that came up in the Google search term analysis that seemed wholly unrelated to taking-over-internet-search.com. It was a feature from the Wall Street Journal about a pair of conceptual artists who followed the concept of transhumanism -- using technology to catapult humanity into immortality (for example, figuring out how to upload our consciousness onto servers). The artists design dwellings using disturbing and uncomfortable architectural choices to keep inhabitants on their toes, and thus like babies still discovering the unfamiliar world around them. The premise is that by keeping ourselves from becoming comfortable and lazy (which leads to death, presumably), we can become immortal. They, like one out of every, what?, four people in the world, lost their life savings to Bernard Madoff and their work has halted as a result.

After reading about the architectural style the artists employ to create discomfort, I returned to taking-over-internet-search.com and looked at the page layout once more. I wondered if the two weren't connected after all.

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